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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28482111">Gift Sweater in my Mouth (Just One Day of Christmas - Ash, Don't Fuck This Up)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RottenSeoul/pseuds/RottenSeoul'>RottenSeoul</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Banana Fish (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Fluff, GOL Eiji, M/M, No Angst, Secret Santa, happy holidays!!, just some soft boys being soft, only love, pouty Ash, self-beta, sue me, sweaters again, that's right another story about sweaters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:35:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,949</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28482111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RottenSeoul/pseuds/RottenSeoul</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Eiji. Please. I will cry.</em>
    <br/>
  </p>
</blockquote>Ei-chan's first (American) Christmas, and Ash wants to do it right. He will spill his blood, sweat, and tears to make his beloved a handmade gift. And multiple cups of hot chocolate.<p>A little late, but merry Christmas! They are gay and in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Gift Sweater in my Mouth (Just One Day of Christmas - Ash, Don't Fuck This Up)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/laanatdelrey/gifts">laanatdelrey</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I edited this pretty quickly, so there's no telling how many errors there are hhhh sorry in advance!</p>
<p>Also, the formatting got completely messed up so sorry for any messed up spots I missed!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had to be some time past midnight when Eiji got up. He got up to go to the kitchen for something to drink, which meant he had to leave Ash's arms. </p>
<p><br/>
Ash did not like this. </p>
<p><br/>
He stirred awake to the shuffling and the sudden absence of warmth. He groaned and reached out, trying weakly to grasp at his boyfriend and pull him back. All he wanted was to wrap him up and cuddle, but Eiji was already too far out of reach. His eyes remained closed as he groped around, his hand only plopping down in defeat after he heard the door creak open as Eiji waddled out.</p>
<p><br/>
With a pout, Ash laid there, sighing and huffing every few seconds. He hoped in vain that Eiji would hear his discontent and return to his side. Much to his dismay, however, his sulking was to no avail. As the seconds ticked on to minutes, Ash let out a loud whine. The noise that left his throat was raspy and needy. It seemed to fall on deaf ears, though, as Eiji didn't even acknowledge it.</p>
<p><br/>
In an attempt to fall back asleep, Ash curled up more into himself and clutched at both the blanket and pillow from Eiji's side of the bed. They were warm. They still held his scent. A small smile curled up on Ash's lips as he squirmed around to adjust into a comfortable position.</p>
<p><br/>
That smile gradually started to fade as his muscles relaxed and he gave into his sleepiness. But he was never quite able to return to sleep. He grew frustrated the longer it took. Knowing it wouldn't come anytime soon, he was caught between sitting up, rolling over, and aggressively fluffing his pillow; and waiting it out. </p>
<p><br/>
Before he even had to make the decision, he heard Eiji making his way back into the room. He couldn't help the upward turn of his lips as he heard his love approaching. As soon as Eiji was close enough to the edge of the bed, Ash snatched him, arms shooting out and grabbing him, yanking him back into bed, earning a yelp in response. Eiji tried to protest, startled and confused, but Ash just grumbled and buried himself into him.</p>
<p><br/>
"Ash!" Eiji hissed as the mattress bounced somewhat under his weight. "I'm holding hot chocolate! You could've made me spill it!"</p>
<p><br/>
Ash could hear the pout in his voice. <em>Precious.</em></p>
<p><br/>
He wanted to frown and ask, "Without me? Where's mine?" He also wanted to sit up and take the drink from Eiji to have a sip—but he was too tired to do either. So, instead, he completely encircled Eiji's waist and nuzzled into him, throwing his leg over him to cling like his life depended on it.</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji only grunted in reply, voice still low from grogginess and disuse. From the floor, they could hear Buddy huff, clearly annoyed by all their noise. If Ash had the energy, he would've laughed and apologized. </p>
<p><br/>
Eiji finally set his cup on the bedside table and wiggled closer to Ash. He tucked Ash under his chin then buried his nose into his silky, blonde hair. Ash's face was pressed into him, nose brushing Eiji's throat, and he could feel his own breath fanning off Eiji's skin and hitting back against his face. He fell asleep immediately.</p>
<p>The next morning, Ash got his hot chocolate. He somehow managed his way in the kitchen, eyes blurry, hair a complete mess. He was still sleepy and clingy and found it hard to stay unattached from Eiji. He followed him around like a puppy and laid his head on his shoulder any and every chance he could. Eiji, an angel, didn't complain a bit, even though Ash was limiting the movement of whichever arm he decided to hug.</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji didn't mind; he just made sure to give Ash lots of affection when he could spare a second: head pats and fingers running through Ash's messy hair while still making sure not to burn the food he was cooking, light scalp scratches that made Ash close his eyes and sigh in satisfaction, loving little smiles sent Ash's way. Nothing could be better.<br/>
After the food was ready, Eiji set the plates down and went to make some hot chocolate while waiting for the food to cool enough to eat. Ash, of course, followed him, attached to his back with his face pressed between his shoulder blades. Eiji had his beautiful long hair in the same messy bun he had yesterday, now loose and nearly falling out from being slept on. It was extremely cute, even when disheveled. Ash wanted to play with the ebony strands for hours.</p>
<p><br/>
As Eiji got two cups and the hot chocolate mix, Ash took a moment to appreciate how pretty his Eiji is. He firmly believed Eiji was the prettiest boy. He was the most gorgeous person alive, in fact, in every sense. Ash had really got lucky. He nuzzled into Eiji's hair and let out a content breath. </p>
<p><br/>
Eiji was always stunning, and Ash admired how versatile his style was. His short, fluffy hair was very adorable and flattered his cute, youthful features. His long hair, which had gotten more of a silky shine compared to the soft fluff of its previous length, really defined his features and sharpened them. Maybe some of that came with age, as it had been a few years, but the length took the focus off his soft cheeks and placed it on his defined collarbones and former-athletic build. </p>
<p><br/>
His shorter hair had shown off his strong jawline by keeping it exposed, but his current hair length also highlighted it by bringing more attention to the lower half of his face. Eiji still had moments where he looked like a baby—and he would always be Ash's baby—but his current hair flattered him in new ways. Moreover, it didn't just look pretty, but was also a visual reminder of how far they had come and how much they had grown together.</p>
<p><br/>
While Eiji had let his hair grow out (mostly just out of laziness; it was easier to let it do its thing and not have to worry about cutting it), Ash's hair had remained mainly the same. He always had Eiji trim it when it started getting too long, and he maintained his mullet-esque style. He was surprised at how well Eiji always managed to cut it. Sometimes he would go a little longer without trimming it, only because he didn't want to be bothered with it. It always stayed long enough to be put in a little ponytail, and he would let Eiji have fun playing with it and pulling it up. He often did the same for Eiji too.</p>
<p><br/>
Just like with his hair, he hadn't really changed much in any other areas. Except growing taller, even more so than Eiji had (which Eiji, of course, complained about). Though, Eiji had told him that his features looked a little sharper. They were already sharp before, so the change wasn't very noticeable, but his face looked more mature, in a way. He didn't feel any particular way about staying the same or changing—he felt there were pros and cons to both—but he was glad to know it would take him a while to look like an extra-dehydrated raisin.</p>
<p><br/>
Still deep in thought as Eiji made their hot chocolate, Ash was pulled from his reverie when Eiji reached back and threaded his fingers through his hair lovingly, giving him a few soft pets before reaching back down to stir their drinks. Ash felt impossibly clingier and pulled Eiji closer. His arms wrapped as far around Eiji as they could. His fingers clutched at Eiji's white sweater, and he adjusted himself some more, chin now resting on the brunette's shoulder with his face completely hidden in the side of his neck. His nose rubbed affectionately against his skin. He was as close as physically possible. He felt more than heard Eiji hum contentedly as he closed his eyes and tried to give in to his lingering sleepiness.</p>
<p><br/>
The spoon clicking against the glass stopped and made a small clinking sound as Eiji set it on the counter. He tried to turn in Ash's hold, but the blonde clung tighter. He turned to look over his shoulder as far as he could and whispered soothingly to Ash, hands over the ones around his waist, thumb stroking the back of Ash's hands gently.</p>
<p><br/>
"Ashie, the hot chocolate is ready. Taste it and tell me if you like it, please? For me?"</p>
<p><br/>
Ash nodded against Eiji wordlessly.</p>
<p><br/>
This time when Eiji turned around, Ash loosened his hold enough. Once facing each other, Ash tried to lay his head back on Eiji's shoulder, but he leaned back and held his cup in between them, waiting for Ash to take it. </p>
<p><br/>
Ash had to stop himself from whining pitifully. He just wanted to burrow into his Eiji (and hopefully sleep there), and he most definitely did not want to take his hand away from his waist. But reluctantly, and with a pout, he took the cup and took a sip. As soon as the hot chocolate hit his tongue, his pout melted away.</p>
<p><br/>
"Do you want marshmallows?" </p>
<p><br/>
Ash, eyes closed, nodded silently and leaned more into Eiji. Eiji chuckled softly and stroked his back. As he turned to grab the marshmallows, he said with a trace of laugher still in his voice, "You're needy this morning."</p>
<p><br/>
"Mmm. Needy ev'ry morning."</p>
<p><br/>
"Yeah, you're right. My bad. Here."</p>
<p><br/>
The hot chocolate sloshed lightly as the marshmallows plopped in. Ash let out a pleased hum. He took a long sip and chewed on a few tiny marshmallows. He kept his eyes closed, too tired to open them, and savored the taste. Eiji always made the best hot chocolate. They stood there in each other’s arms, sipping at their warm beverages. When they were about done, Eiji dragged him to the dining table.</p>
<p><br/>
"Come on, we need to hurry up and eat so I can clean the dishes and go."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash's eyes, now open, narrowed as he frowned. "Where are you going?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Just shopping. I shouldn't be long. But I should go soon before the stores get too crowded."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash grunted. "I'm too sleepy. Let's wait, okay? If you make me go now, I'll just pout the whole time."</p>
<p><br/>
"It's okay, baby, you can sleep in." Ash smiled to himself, eyes drooping closed once again, expression relaxed and grateful. "You'll be staying here anyways. I was planning on going alone."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash's eyes shot open. What? <em>Rude. Betrayal. Heartbreak.</em> "Wha- huh? Why?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Because I'm shopping for you. It's almost Christmas."</p>
<p><br/>
"Oh, boo. Fuck that. Let's just skip it. I don't need or want any presents."</p>
<p><br/>
"Ash," Eiji's tone was almost warning. "Not this again. You do this every time—and every time we go through the same conversation. I'm getting you some presents."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash grumbled as he stabbed at his food with his fork.</p>
<p><br/>
"Aslan, hush. You act like it's something bad. But we both know you wouldn't accept it if the roles were reversed."</p>
<p><br/>
"Don't pull that on me. You always put things into perspective when I'm being unreasonable, and it makes it hard to be unreasonable. Besides, you used to do the exact same thing."</p>
<p><br/>
"You're right. It was because I don't like people spending money on me, and I didn't want you thinking you had to because you felt indebted to me. You told me to get over it and get used to it, though, so I did. Maybe you should do the same, hmm?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Boo. No thank you."</p>
<p><br/>
"I love you, Ash, you know that; I like spoiling you. You've said the same thing about me, so you should understand. It's my job to take care of you, and I'm going to do that. No room for arguments, sweetie."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash stuffed his mouth with food so he wouldn't have to answer. Then, after swallowing: "Well, gift number one is you staying home today. We eat then go back to bed and cuddle. Just me and you—no furball stealing my Eiji."</p>
<p><br/>
"Ash! Don't talk about him like that!"</p>
<p><br/>
"I love him, but I will not tolerate that. Not today."</p>
<p><br/>
"What if he hears you? Just for that, you're going to have to wait until I get back."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash's mouth dropped open. He scoffed half-heartedly and went back to his food, sulking.</p>
<p><br/>
When they were done, Eiji washed the dishes, Ash clinging to his back again. See, Ash would've helped, but he was too busy soaking up Eiji's warmth. Luckily—or rather unluckily, for Ash—there weren't many dishes. They were washed and dried off quickly, and, despite Ash's protests, Eiji was out the door. Right before he left, Ash had helped him fix his hair. He put it in another bun, this one still messy, but presentable and in a way Eiji preferred. </p>
<p><br/>
Alone and pouty, Ash went to their bedroom and raided the closet, picking out his favorite sweater of Eiji's. Once completely bundled up, he waddled back to the living room. He plopped onto the couch, Buddy following him and jumping into his lap. Buddy crawled up his body and laid on his chest as Ash settled onto his back. With every pet or pat came the swish of a fluffy tail. </p>
<p><br/>
Ash thought of the gifts he was going to give Eiji. He knew he was definitely getting him some fancy, expensive camera gear that he heard was really good and knew Eiji would love. But, besides that, he wanted to do something a little more special. A little more intimate.</p>
<p><br/>
He wasn't sure what, though, so he laid there and stroked Buddy's back as he thought about it. Write a song? <em>No, I'm no good at that, and I'd never be able to accurately express my feelings. It would frustrate me when it didn't come out right; I'd just be wasting time.</em> A poem? <em>Easier, maybe. But still the same problem of never being able to convey how much he means to me. He's too perfect for words. And I can just do that anyways. Kind of sucks as a Christmas gift.</em> Another puppy— <em>No. Next.</em> Well, maybe a kitten wouldn't hurt... Buddy could use a friend. <em>Maybe... Not what I was thinking, but maybe. Just not for Christmas. I need to see what Eiji would think. Maybe for his birthday.</em><br/>
Damn. This was harder than he thought. What's something that requires work? Something that Ash isn't good at. What's something he's never tried? </p>
<p><br/>
...</p>
<p><br/>
Knitting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hmm, okay. That works.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash then decided that he would knit Eiji a sweater. He thought about sewing one from scratch instead, but figured that would be too easy. He wanted to put all of his hard work and effort into his handmade gift for Eiji. Eiji could use a new sweater, too, since Ash kept stealing all of his. They truly had no sense of whose clothes were whose, but Ash knew for sure that he took all the sweaters (and most other clothes) that smelled anything like Eiji. </p>
<p><br/>
Alright, time to do some research. Ash pulled out his phone, one hand still resting on Buddy, who panted and wagged his tail happily. Not even two minutes in, Ash was already confused. Something about sixty stitches with circular needles, a body, a knit stitch, 1x1 rib borders, hemming, and what-the-fuck-ever else. Okay, this was going to be harder than he originally anticipated. He should've realized there was probably a reason no one had wanted to teach him this shit. Alright, okay. Anything for Eiji. The struggle will just make it even more special. Ash just hoped he could pull it off.</p>
<p><br/>
After an hour or so of intense research and studying, the key to the door could be heard jiggling into the lock. Buddy shot up, shoving his foot painfully into Ash's gut as he jumped off the couch to run to the door. Ash moaned out in pain and clutched his stomach. He pocketed his phone and turned to see Eiji walking in, a bright, angelic smile on his face, Buddy jumping at his feet. </p>
<p><br/>
Buddy loved Ash dearly, which was a mutual feeling, but it was clear who he loved more (again, mutual), as evident by the excitement the golden retriever could barely contain from the sound of his owner returning.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash was just as excited, honestly. He waited for Eiji to make eye contact so he could use his puppy eyes to beg for some morning snuggles. Eiji was too busy setting bags down and taking his black coat off, which—now that he thought about it—looked like Ash's. As mentioned before, they really had no concept of which clothes belonged to who, but it always warmed Ash's heart when he noticed Eiji wearing something that was definitely his. Eiji always made their clothes look better anyway.</p>
<p><br/>
"I'm back, cutie."</p>
<p><br/>
"Who are you talking to? Me or Buddy?"</p>
<p>Eiji laughed. "Well, I meant it for you, but it works both ways."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash watched Eiji bend down and ruffle up Buddy's fur. He wanted to frown. <em>No, give me all the attention.</em> That greeting was his, and now their dog was taking it from him. Ash let out a puff of air and crossed his arms, not caring how petty it made him feel. </p>
<p><br/>
Eiji finally made his way over to Ash. Just as he was about to pass the couch, Ash made grabby hands and pulled him down by his waist. Eiji landed on Ash's stomach with a surprised noise.</p>
<p><br/>
"Cuddle time, bunnyboy."</p>
<p><br/>
"No, no. Don't get too comfortable," Eiji said as Ash snuggled into his back. "We're leaving soon."</p>
<p><br/>
This made Ash perk up. "Huh? What do you mean? You just got back."</p>
<p><br/>
"I know, but I'm about to take you somewhere."</p>
<p><br/>
"Yeah? Where are you wanting to take me?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Ice skating!"</p>
<p><br/>
Ash's expression fell. "Ice skating... Really? How come?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Because it'll be fun, Ashie. Come on—get ready." With that, the brunette got up and headed to their bedroom. Before he disappeared through the door, he turned his head and said, "You can wear your coat. I borrowed it because it's so nice and warm, but I don't want you getting cold, okay?"</p>
<p><br/>
Although Ash didn't want to get up and wasn't entirely sure about ice skating, he couldn't help the little flutter of his heart at his boyfriend's words. After sitting on the couch for a second, he got up and followed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eiji doubled up on layers. He wore a turtleneck sweater, thick and white, over a plain shirt and some soft, slightly stretchy jeans with a black high-waisted pair over them that were a little loose. He also wore long socks, two pairs on each foot, and decided to leave his glasses. He looked so soft and cute. Ash just wore a light gray mock neck long sleeve, black skinny jeans, and his black coat that Eiji wore earlier (it still smelled like him, what a blessing).</p>
<p><br/>
As they were leaving, Buddy settled into his dog bed and Ash snuck him some kisses—several on the top of his head, then a few final ones on his nose. He would've given him more, but he didn't want to keep Eiji waiting, or have his <strike>(not-so)</strike> secret softness exposed.</p>
<p><br/>
When he made it to the door beside Eiji, Eiji took his hand, and Ash kissed his cheek. They turned the light out and left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>All was well at first. </p>
<p><br/>
It went well when Ash put on his skates, and when he walked in them. He was fine even when he first set foot on the ice. But when it came to the actual skating part... Well. That was a different story.</p>
<p><br/>
He soon found that trying to move proved difficult. Extremely difficult in his case. It suddenly became incredibly hard to keep his balance, leaving him feeling like a fool, feet slipping and going every possible direction. Eiji was doing much better. This was his first time, he had never stepped on ice like this, yet he didn't seem to be struggling at all. He was a little wobbly at times, but he had no problem moving or staying up. Ash grappled around, trying to grab the wall to hold himself up. Once able, he pressed himself up to it, holding his body as close against it as possible, staring off into nothingness with wide, petrified eyes. It was a comical sight, but Eiji couldn't help but feel a little bad.</p>
<p><br/>
He reached out his hand. "Here, Ash, hold on."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash looked down to his hand and right back up to his face. Green eyes, startlingly beautiful, still wide as saucers.</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji's expression was unbelievably kind. "It's okay, I'm right here. I'll help you, don't worry."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash tentatively reached his hand out. Eiji grabbed it and started to gently pull him away from the wall, but Ash immediately tensed and tried pressing closer to it again. Eiji stopped pulling. He called his name, speaking softly, "Aslan. Please don't worry, I'm right here, I swear. I know you're not used to this, but I've got you. I won't let anything happen to you."</p>
<p><br/>
When Ash looked back up at him through his lashes, clearly feeling embarrassed but still not trusting his own feet, Eiji added: "You know that - you know I would never let anything happen. Come here; please trust me, baby." Ash, already looking a bit more confident (and soft), didn't waste a second to put his hand in Eiji's again. Eiji smiled, breathtakingly, and in one smooth and swift movement, pulled Ash all the way towards him. Ash slid right into his arms.</p>
<p><br/>
He had already started to tense a little from the lack of control of his movement, but the distance wasn't far, and before he knew it, his arms were wrapped around Eiji's neck, body pressed right against his. He wanted to lay his head on Eiji's shoulder and just stay there—he almost did, too, which of course Eiji noticed and chuckled, warming Ash's heart—but instead he came nose to nose with him and looked into his sweet brown eyes. Eiji appreciated the cute gesture, and his cheeks warmed slightly, partly due to how cute Ash was but also from the particular look the blonde was giving him. His eyes held so many emotions at once.</p>
<p><br/>
The way Ash was looking at him, his eyes showed so much trust and love. It was such an adorable, puppy-like, affectionate gaze, and it made Eiji completely melt. With Ash's arms still around his neck, he brushed their noses together, nuzzling softly. This earned him a tiny giggle from the blonde, who held on tighter—but this time out of comfort and happiness instead of fear. </p>
<p><br/>
They were almost the same height now, though Ash was still a bit taller. After four years, Eiji finally started to catch up to him. Before, Ash constantly told him he was the perfect height for forehead kisses; now he tells him he's the perfect height for all kisses, especially pecks on the lips. And Eiji kind of wanted to kiss his soft lips right now. Kind of. Just kind of, because he didn't want to ruin this moment, or take his eyes off Ash. Not for even a second. So he didn't. But he did manage to steal a very quick nose kiss.<br/>
Just a small, little kiss to the tip of Ash's nose. Despite it being so small and quick, it still made Ash's eyes widen a fraction. His nose had felt cold against Eiji's lips. It made him want to kiss it some more—just to warm it up, of course; not because Ash was so pretty and precious, and the way his face flushed so faintly made Eiji want to squeeze him and never let go. Yeah, totally not for that reason.</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji hooked his hands behind Ash, resting them against the small of his back, and his lips quirked up in the sweetest, purest expression. "Are you ready to try moving around some?"</p>
<p><br/>
He saw Ash biting his bottom lip in contemplation.</p>
<p><br/>
"I won't do anything you're not ready for. You can say no."</p>
<p><br/>
"I know, Eiji, I'm okay. I think it's fine... We can try. I trust you."</p>
<p><br/>
"Just hold onto me, okay? I've got you. And tell me if you want me to stop or slow down or anything, alright, baby? I'm right here, I won't let you go."<br/>
Ash nodded.</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji started gliding backwards slowly, holding Ash tightly. Ash looked down to watch the ice and their feet sliding together over it. Eiji was a little surprised when he didn't tense or hold on tighter; it made him feel a welling sense of pride as he watched his boyfriend now calmed and relaxed. He was also overcome with warmth as he again realized how much Ash trusted him. He kept gazing at Ash with the softest expression, until Ash eventually looked back up at him.</p>
<p><br/>
"What?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Nothing. I just love you so much."</p>
<p><br/>
"Ei-chan," Ash breathed, their faces still close, the remaining color painting his cheeks from earlier deepening the slightest bit. Eiji giggled.</p>
<p>"You're so pretty, Ash," Eiji said softly as his eyes darted between Ash's. He sounded so sincere and lovesick that it gave Ash butterflies.</p>
<p><br/>
He watched as Eiji's eyes traveled his face, taking in his beauty. "Not nearly as pretty as you. My fuck—have you seen yourself, Eiji? And you're going to sit here and call me pretty?"</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji gasped. "Huh? Are you insane? You have no idea what you're talking about."</p>
<p><br/>
"Yeah, right, sure. Be careful or I might just end up kissing you in front of all these people."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji suddenly looked around, surprised. Ash looked around too, trying to see what was the matter. "What is it?" he asked.</p>
<p><br/>
"Oh, I just... I forgot other people were here for a second. I was just so focused on you, I guess." He then chuckled and scratched the back of his neck somewhat sheepishly, his other hand remaining on Ash's back to hold him.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash grabbed his hand as it came down to go back around him and kissed Eiji's knuckles. He mumbled about his hands being cold against his fingers and tried using his hot breath to warm them up. They had slowed to almost a complete stop, so he decided to be brave and suggest attempting to let go.</p>
<p><br/>
"Are you sure? I don't mind holding onto you."</p>
<p><br/>
"I'm sure. I think I can handle a little ice. You can let me go."</p>
<p><br/>
And oh, what a mistake that was. As soon as Eiji took his hands off, Ash started wobbling. His eyes were wide again and his arms flailed, but all the movement started pushing him backward. Eiji reached out for him just as Ash tried to nudge himself forward, causing his balance to get thrown completely off. He yipped and began flailing harder, more violently, as his legs started slipping from under him. Eiji, in a race to catch him before he broke his ass, snatched him up, Ash latching onto him as tightly as he could.</p>
<p><br/>
There was still some distance between them from Ash slipping away, so Eiji was holding him awkwardly, bent at an angle that also pushed his feet out slowly. But, luckily, he had common sense and knew how to pull his feet back under him. Ash, however, wasn't so lucky. As he clung to Eiji, his lower half was still slipping backward. He clung desperately while Eiji tried to hold him up; then, in an attempt to press his torso to Eiji's for some stability and much-needed comfort, tried to stand straight.<br/>
This was his fatal mistake, as this made Eiji lose <em>his</em> balance. Eiji held on tighter, trying to use Ash as support, but him trying to catch his balance only made Ash more unbalanced, and-</p>
<p> </p>
<p><br/>
They arrived home cold and bruised. They entered with blank, expressionless faces. They were tired.</p>
<p><br/>
When Buddy heard them come through the door, he ran to them and stopped at their feet, bouncing from foot to foot in anticipation for affection. Eiji perked up and reached down to pet him and coo at him. Ash almost rolled his eyes. He reached down and scratched lightly at Buddy's back as he walked by. Once he disappeared into their bedroom, he could hear Eiji's beautiful laugh from the living room, which brought a soft smile to Ash's face. He got out two pairs of clothes, then headed to the bathroom.</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji poked his head in while Ash got everything ready. Eiji smiled and asked if he was going to take long.</p>
<p><br/>
"I wanted to take one together. Is that okay?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Oh, of course. Hold on, Aslan, I'll be right there."</p>
<p><br/>
"I already got you some clothes."</p>
<p><br/>
"Okay, thank you, dear."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash turned on the water and adjusted the temperature. Eiji returned with a hair clip. They helped each other undress and folded each article of clothing for each other as they were taken off. After pulling Eiji's sweater and undershirt over his head while Eiji kicked off his layers of socks, Ash helped clip his hair up.</p>
<p><br/>
They sat in the bath together, sighing in unison out of relief at the warmth. Ash held Eiji in his arms, who rested his head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Eiji, completely relaxed, closed his eyes. The rhythmic thrumming against his ear nearly lulled him to sleep.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash used his dry hand to pet the side of Eiji's face. He watched his peaceful expression, then brought his hand back up, the back of his knuckles tenderly stroking over Eiji's cheekbone. He stroked his thumb over his browbone, trailing back down to his cheek. Eiji nestled more into him, eyes somehow feeling even heavier despite already being closed. Ash gently splashed some of the warm water over Eiji's exposed skin. He cupped his hand and brought the water to Eiji's shoulder, letting it run over his cold body. Eiji couldn't suppress the pleased shiver as the cool air chilling his skin was replaced by warmth.</p>
<p><br/>
He murmured, "Mm, stop before you make me fall asleep."</p>
<p><br/>
"It's okay, Eiji, you can go to sleep if you want. I'm right here."</p>
<p><br/>
"I know, love; you're right here, I know."</p>
<p><br/>
"You sound sleepy," Ash said, thumb rubbing lightly over Eiji's shoulder. "I mean it—you can go to sleep. It's okay." He kissed his forehead and whispered against his skin, "I've got you. I'm right here, I won't let you go."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji recognized the words from earlier and responded with, "I trust you." Just as Ash had. With that, he let himself succumb to sleep.</p>
<p>Ash held him firmly, but his touch remained soft. He made sure to run the warm water over his cold skin every now and again. He rested his chin on the crown of Eiji's head and caressed him delicately. Ash knew when he was waking up by the little noise he made and the way he stirred slightly. The brunette nuzzled him, pressing his nose into his collarbone.</p>
<p><br/>
"Hi, my love," Ash called softly. "Nice nap?"</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji nodded against him sleepily then stretched as much as he could. He yawned and buried his face into the crook of Ash's neck. "Much better. Still sleepy."</p>
<p><br/>
"Yeah, you just woke up. Give it a minute."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji, snuggling into him, sleepily wrapped his arms around Ash's neck as well. He let out a sigh and felt it fan over Ash's skin and bounce back to hit his face. Ash could feel him taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. He traced his finger over Eiji's spine, dipping into the water and bringing it back up, the warmth making Eiji's back muscles quiver. Ash blew out a chuckle, mostly just air coming from his nose. He rubbed gently over Eiji's bruised hip. Ash himself only had a small bruise on the underside of his chin, since he had been a lot closer to the ice when he fell. Eiji took a lot more impact (his skates had shot straight <em>right</em> out from under him), and it was already starting to show.</p>
<p><br/>
Whenever Eiji got injured, it always looked pretty rough—bruises dark and quick to appear, cuts red and irritated and especially bloody, no matter how small or superficial—but he always healed well and surprisingly fast. Ash wasn't too worried, but he still felt bad. He wanted to soothe the area as much as possible. He massaged lightly, making sure not to press too hard. Eiji leaned up closer and gave a chaste kiss right under his ear before pulling back to look at Ash's face. Ash pushed back a strand of Eiji's hair that had come loose.</p>
<p><br/>
"Do you want me to wash your back while you're comfy?"</p>
<p><br/>
"If you want to." Eiji smiled at him lazily.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash pressed a kiss into Eiji's hair. "Of course."</p>
<p><br/>
Lying fully on Ash's chest again, Eiji began playing with the longer parts of Ash's hair. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Ash poured the cold bodywash straight onto his back. He received a kiss to his temple in apology. </p>
<p><br/>
Ash washed his shoulders first. He was very careful and sweet. He pressed into the muscles gently, and he felt as Eiji relaxed against him in return. He washed down the rest of his back and lightly rubbed over his bruised hip. His touch was almost timid, afraid of making the spot sore. He rinsed all the soap, making sure not to get any of Eiji's hair wet. When he was done, he placed his hand on Eiji's chin, turning his face to give him a peck on the bridge of his nose. He pulled back and smiled adorably, looking somewhat like a child. Eiji's heart melted. Ash, still cupping Eiji's chin, used his thumb to stroke his cheek.</p>
<p><br/>
"Let's hurry up so we can get out and go to sleep, alright? That sound okay?"</p>
<p><br/>
"But I haven't even cooked dinner," Eiji said with a pout. "Ash, you need to eat."</p>
<p><br/>
"It's okay, baby. I'll just eat a big breakfast in the morning to make up for it. I swear."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji sighed. He sat there a few moments before relenting. "Alright. Fine. You don't have to eat too much in the morning, you know. I don't want you getting a tummy ache or eating more than you can handle. I'll just make sure to cook you whatever you want and make sure you get full. That'll be enough to satisfy me."</p>
<p><br/>
"Thank you, honey; you're too good to me." When Eiji rolled his eyes, it was Ash's turn to pout. "I mean it. I seriously don't deserve you. You're too damn good—I can't believe how lucky I got."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji looked away with a puff, his cheeks coloring slightly. Ash laughed and gave his pinkened cheek a big kiss. He nuzzled into him, scrunching his nose, and gave his other cheek a small peck, pulling away as Eiji groaned in mock annoyance.</p>
<p><br/>
Whenever Ash was extra mawkish, it never failed to make Eiji blush. Ash loved it, would do anything to get those precious reactions from him. </p>
<p><br/>
His words were never empty—they were always genuine and true. As much as he loved to see Eiji that way, he would never say something if he didn't really mean it. He was always very careful and accurate when it concerned Eiji. That, too, extended to his affection. He didn't like the idea of doing anything insincere just to elicit certain reactions. He chose his words and actions very delicately and was glad that they alone could make his Eiji happy. Eiji usually acted shy and flustered, sometimes even embarrassed, and Ash absolutely adored it. He already wanted to kiss his cheeks again. Just looking at him made Ash want to constantly pepper his face all over with kisses. Not wanting to overwhelm him, he settled for placing a single kiss on the corner of his lips.</p>
<p><br/>
"C'mon, let's hurry up, angel."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They got out soon after that, feeling warm and fresh. They hopped into bed and bundled up in each other's arms. Eiji held Ash, who tucked himself under Eiji's jaw. Buddy joined too, jumping up and snuggling as soon as they got comfortable.</p>
<p><br/>
The next morning is when the struggle started.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash waited for Eiji to go to work. He worked from home most days, but there were still plenty of times, especially around the holidays, where he had to leave. He had been busier the last few months with setting up his exhibit, which provided the perfect opportunity for Ash to start working on Eiji's gift. He did more research, got more confused, then made a list of materials he needed and things he needed to look up more information on.</p>
<p><br/>
He was surprised with how confused he was. He didn't think it would be that hard, but he had no idea what he was looking at or what the tutorials were talking about. Somehow, though, the stress kind of excited him—it made him eager to do his best. The harder it was to complete, the more worth it had, in his eyes. He hoped Eiji liked it—and knowing Eiji, he would, no matter how bad or fucked up it came out. The thought made him giddy.</p>
<p><br/>
He got to work right away after returning from the store with all his needed materials. He managed to figure everything out and get a good idea of what he was doing. At first, the more he did, the easier it got. The repetition made it easier as he went. It became a rhythm of simple movements. But as he progressed, it suddenly wasn't as easy. He didn't know why; he guessed it was because he had been doing it for so long in one sitting that his fingers just started malfunctioning. It got to the point where even when he was doing it correctly, it felt wrong. </p>
<p><br/>
He would stop and sit and think on it. <em>This is it, right? I'm doing it right, aren't I? You're supposed to do it this way... No, that's where I messed up. Wait - right? Did I? No, that's wrong, wait. This is it. Yeah, here we go. Well... I hope so...</em></p>
<p><br/>
He ended up stopping and undoing what he had just done, only to redo it as he had before, then questioning himself. He did this more times than he could count. There were a few times where he did make a mistake and catch it, only to freak himself out, sending him into a spiral of <em>"How long have I been doing it like this? I feel like I did this a few times.. Did I mess up? Am I fucking Eiji's whole sweater up?"</em> He would fret and inspect everything he had already completed. He would sometimes convince himself he was seeing a mistake even when he wasn't, and when he did finally see everything was okay, he would still stress, wondering if he had missed something obvious. </p>
<p><br/>
This continued for a while.</p>
<p><br/>
Eventually, he had to take a break. He had been working for a few hours and didn't have that much done. He sat, slouched over, sighing. He wasn't even that far in and he was already beyond stressed. As he sat and look at what he had so far, he honestly felt a little depressed. He didn't really know what he was doing or if it would turn out right. He wanted so badly for it to be good. He felt like crying. The thought of it being terrible or not finished on time actually scared him. He felt a small sense of panic, like he needed to hurry and get it all done, like he was running out of time when he had just started. </p>
<p><br/>
He whined and threw his head back. Buddy came trotting over, tail wagging gently. Ash rubbed the top of his head, and Buddy smiled in that way that dogs do. His soft fur helped to calm Ash down some, but only a tiny bit. He sat with Buddy and tried to get him to help. He talked to him, asking for him to do it and just get it over with, or at least teach Ash how to, somehow. After sitting in silence, holding his knitting needles out to Buddy, he realized how ridiculous—not to mention <em>pathetic</em>—he looked. He groaned loudly and threw himself backwards, flat onto his back.</p>
<p><br/>
"Buuuuddy. Come on. Do something. At least give me the emotional support and motivation. I know you love Eiji just as much as I do. Help me out here."</p>
<p><br/>
Buddy only licked his face.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash laid there and scratched behind Buddy's ear. He wanted to scream. Mostly at himself. His head lolled to the side and he sent a piteous look to Buddy. The moment, however, was short-lived, because right after, the sound of the door unlocking shot both of them up off the floor. Buddy's foot thrusted into Ash's throat as he jumped over him to get to the door. Ash choked, making a loud <em>ack!</em> sound, but had no time to waste. He had to hide everything.</p>
<p><br/>
He dove towards all his materials and gathered them haphazardly into his arms. In a mad dash, he scrambled to their bedroom, stopping to frantically look around for a good hiding spot. He could hear Eiji entering through the front door and greeting Buddy. Ash panicked.</p>
<p><br/>
He ran to their shared dresser and opened the last drawer. He remembered there being an old costume there (Max gave them a sexy bunny Halloween costume for Eiji as a joke one year, that sick bastard). He knew Eiji wouldn't look there or look underneath the costume, so he, as fast as he could, shoved everything in and covered it all with the bunny outfit.</p>
<p><br/>
He closed the drawer and managed to crawl backwards until his back hit the bed just in time. Eiji opened the door, in the middle of taking his gloves off, and stopped when he saw Ash sitting on the floor, jade eyes wide and bewildered.</p>
<p><br/>
"Ash? Baby?" He sounded concerned. "Everything alright?"</p>
<p><br/>
Ash nodded his head and hummed in affirmation, holding back a whimper of dread. He was practically panting. He had never been very good when it came to hiding things from Eiji.</p>
<p><br/>
With a frown, Eiji set his gloves to the side then made his way over to Ash. He knelt down and cupped his face. "Is something wrong, seriously?" he asked softly, "You can be honest."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash swallowed. He hoped Eiji wouldn't notice. "No, nothing is wrong. I swear." He pressed his lips together. <em>Keep the fear out of your voice. Stop being a pussy. Don't fuck this up.</em></p>
<p><br/>
"Ash..."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash untensed and finally melted into Eiji's palm, pressing his face into his hand. He closed his eyes with a small smile. Eiji's hands were warm. "Nothing is wrong, Ei-chan, I mean it—I would tell you if something was. Please don't worry. I'm right here, and I promise I'm fine."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji's worry seemed to ease a bit. "But I heard you make a noise when I was coming in... Are you sure?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Yeah." He watched as Eiji bit his bottom lip, still not 100% convinced. "Buddy just jumped over me to get to you."</p>
<p><br/>
"Oh," Eiji laughed, "sounds about right."</p>
<p><br/>
"He <em>clearly</em> has a favorite. I can't even blame him, though—can't blame him at all."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji scoffed and playfully pushed at Ash's shoulder, rolling his eyes at Ash's smirk. They laughed quietly together. Ash internally sighed in relief. Crisis adverted. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day, his previous frustration with himself lingered in the back of his head. After Eiji was gone, he went back to working and stressing. His prior stresses still remained, if not grew. This was Eiji's first American Christmas, and Ash would be damned if he screwed it up. </p>
<p><br/>
He wanted everything to be perfect. When they were in New York a few years ago, they never had the time to celebrate. Ash wanted Eiji to have this and to be able to enjoy it. He not only deserved it but <em>needed</em> it after all the work he had been putting into his exhibit. Eiji was such a hard worker; Ash truly admired him. Ash loved seeing Eiji's hard work pay off—it was one of the things (besides Eiji himself) that made him happiest. He wanted to be there and not only give support, but also be able to provide a much-needed break. He wanted so desperately to do everything right. Eiji meant everything to him; he just wanted to make him happy.</p>
<p><br/>
He paid attention to the clock this time, and when it got close to the time Eiji usually returned, he went ahead and cleaned up. By time Eiji walked in, Ash was slouched on the couch, a small pout on his lips. Eiji didn't say anything at first. He waited for Ash to speak up. If something was bothering him, he wanted to listen, but he wanted it to be Ash who brought it up; he didn't want to pressure him or force it out. He kept glancing at the slumped figure over on the couch, hoping he'd say something.</p>
<p><br/>
Once he realized Ash had nothing to say, he made his way over and sat beside him. He cupped the side of Ash's face and stroked his cheek. "Hey, my love. How was your day?"<br/>
"Eh. Not very productive."</p>
<p><br/>
"Hmm. What did you do all day? Watch anything on tv?"</p>
<p><br/>
"No, I just kind of sat around all day. Didn't really do anything much."</p>
<p><br/>
"Mmm," he hummed. "Nothing wrong with that. But is everything alright?"</p>
<p><br/>
Ash nodded silently, his eyes starting to droop slightly. He hugged Eiji's arm and snuggled into his hand. He tried pulling Eiji down to lay on top of him, making Eiji snicker. It was such a beautiful, pure sound. Ash grinned sleepily.</p>
<p><br/>
"Eiji, come onnn—now that you're here, I'm comfy, and it's making me sleepy. Let's nap."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji couldn't help but chuckle, giving in and moving around to lay with Ash. They both laid down and got comfy, but Ash got pouty again when Eiji didn't lay on top of him.<br/>
"Eijiiii," he whined. "Cuddle time, please. Right here, right now. Either let me cuddle you or you cuddle me. Please, Eiji-weiji." </p>
<p><br/>
He glared as Eiji burst out laughing. "Eiji-weiji?" Eiji questioned through his laughter. "That's a new one, for sure."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash's pout only intensified.</p>
<p><br/>
"No, no, it's cute, Ash, I like it. I love it, actually. Please keep using it."</p>
<p><br/>
"Now I just feel like a baby. I shouldn't have said it, I-I don't even know where it came from..." Ash looked away, cheeks rosy.</p>
<p><br/>
"Well, it's okay, because you are a baby. You're my baby—and that's not changing anytime soon. Don't worry, hun, I think it was cute, and it made me happy," he finished softly. "You never have to be insecure with me, Ash, I love you. Now, come here."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash shifted into Eiji's opened arms and buried his face into his chest, Eiji placing a soft kiss on the top of his head. Ash wanted to play with Eiji's pretty hair, but he was really comfortable, and god, Eiji was so cozy. As he closed his eyes and nestled in closer, he heard Eiji ask, "Are you comfy, Ashy-washy?"</p>
<p><br/>
Ash frowned, though Eiji couldn't see it. He wanted to swat at him and grumble, but he was too sleepy from the combination of all his stress plus Eiji's warmth, so he reluctantly decided to let it go. He could tickle him over it later.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ash only slept a few hours. He woke up to the sound of Eiji humming and his hair being petted. Eiji's soft voice entered his ears, a soothing sound. A sweet melody filled the room, relaxing Ash in a way that made him already want to go back to sleep. He stayed still and enjoyed it all. He loved Eiji playing with his hair beyond all reason. While he never understood all the feline comparisons people made to him, he did have to admit that he was pretty cat-like when it came to Eiji stroking his hair. He could sit there forever just letting Eiji pet him. It was such a great feeling; Ash couldn't get enough. </p>
<p><br/>
Lying there, in his love's arms, he wasn't able suppress the little sigh of content that escaped his lips. He would never get tired of this.<br/>
"Are you awake, baby?"</p>
<p><br/>
Ash nodded, still against his chest. "Sorry I slept so long."</p>
<p><br/>
"No, no, I just woke up. I needed a nap too."</p>
<p><br/>
"Did you sleep well?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Yes, I was very comfy. Thank you."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash rubbed Eiji's back, face still buried into Eiji. He ran his hand up until he found a strand of hair to twirl around his finger. They stayed like that for a good while, probably around 30 minutes. Eiji finally convinced Ash to get up with him. </p>
<p><br/>
Stepping away from making dinner, he wanted to ask Ash if he wanted to help, but he noticed him sitting at the table, staring down at his lap, seemingly deep in thought. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he didn't even notice the look Eiji was giving him. He started biting his lip and fidgeting with his fingers. The longer Eiji watched, the more concerned he got, but he decided to wait to ask about it. He was worried he would annoy Ash and push him away, so he wanted to wait until it felt right.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash seemed fine, or at least better, while they ate. But after mentioning to Eiji that they should make Christmas cookies, he seemed to go dull again. Eiji noticed and frowned. He chewed his bottom lip anxiously as he watched Ash play with his food, staring down blankly at it.</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji waited until they were going to bed to say something.</p>
<p><br/>
They had just climbed in and were getting under the covers when Eiji spoke up. Ash had already grabbed a book to read, but hadn't opened it. He was just looking at it.</p>
<p><br/>
"Hey, Aslan?"</p>
<p><br/>
He perked up and looked over to Eiji, giving him his full attention. Eiji was grateful; it relieved a subconscious fear that he had done something wrong.</p>
<p><br/>
"I know I've kind of already asked this a few times lately... I feel like I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but... are you feeling okay? Really?"</p>
<p><br/>
Ash furrowed his brow slightly and tilted his head in confusion. "Yeah? Why do you ask?"</p>
<p><br/>
"You've just been acting a little strange sometimes. I don't want to pressure you or anything if something is bothering you, but I just need to make sure you're okay and that you know that I'm here."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash leaned over to set his book back on the nightstand. Facing Eiji again, his eyes trailed down as he thought about what Eiji was saying. He suddenly looked up with a seemingly pained expression. "Am I not taking care of you, Eiji? Is that what you're talking about? Have I been neglecting you or ignoring you?"</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji shook his head vigorously, eyes widened, "No, no, no! That's not what I meant, Ash!"</p>
<p><br/>
"Please tell me if I'm not treating you right." He scooted closer and cupped Eiji's face. "You would tell me, wouldn't you?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Ash, don't worry, that's not what I meant—"</p>
<p><br/>
"Please say you would tell me, Eiji. I only want to be good to you." His eyebrows were still furrowed in concern, his thumb stroking his cheek once before coming to a stop. "I need to know that you'll let me know when I do something wrong."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji rested a hand over Ash's. His eyes were incredibly soft when he assured him, "Yes, of course. But you don't have to worry about that, and I don't want you to. Calm down, I'm right here; I'm not going anywhere. You're doing absolutely nothing wrong. I was just a little worried."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash's expression finally relaxed, and his eyes softened. He kissed the corner of Eiji's lips and rested his forehead against his. He blew out a sigh, eyes closed.</p>
<p>When he felt Eiji gently bump noses with him, he opened his eyes. "I'm sorry, Ei-chan. I didn't mean to worry you. How have I been acting weird.. what have I been doing?"<br/>
"You just seem down... I don't know, you seem faraway sometimes when I look at you. Even just now, you were staring at your book and not reading it."</p>
<p><br/>
"Oh, I was, huh." Ash pulled away and chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. "Just deep in thought... I've been stressing a little, sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I've been trying not to get lost in my head, but it hasn't really worked."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji's soft hand caressed his jaw. His voice was so soft and caring, laced with love, "What's been bothering you? Do you want to talk about it?"</p>
<p><br/>
He was so earnest and kind. Ash really didn't deserve him. </p>
<p><br/>
Ash only hesitated a little before telling him vaguely: "Christmas is stressful. It's our first time really celebrating. Sure, we've done some small things in Japan—and they were all lovely—but I know how excited you were at the idea of a traditional Christmas here. I'm worried I'll screw it up, or it won't be good enough, y'know. I don't want to disappoint you."</p>
<p><br/>
"Ash..." He thought he might have seen Eiji's lip quiver the slightest bit. Maybe he was imagining it. "That means so much to me. I appreciate the effort and care, really, but please, baby, don't stress yourself out. There's nothing to worry about, I promise."</p>
<p><br/>
"You deserve everything, Eiji. This is the least I could do. And with all your hard work, plus the stress you've been under, I owe you a good Christmas."</p>
<p><br/>
"You don't owe me anything."</p>
<p><br/>
"I owe you everything. I owe you my life."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji pinched his cheek. "Cut that out. All I need is you, Ash. I don't care how corny that sounds, it's true. You don't have to go out of your way to make the month fun and cute. As long as you're by my side, it'll be more than I could ever ask for." Eiji gave a peck to his jawline. "I mean that with every fiber of my being. So stop worrying."</p>
<p><br/>
A murmur was his only response. <em>As if I could not stress about something like this,</em> Ash thought to himself. He pulled Eiji into a gentle hug and whispered, "I just hope you enjoy it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They turned the lights out after pulling apart from the hug. Ash pulled Eiji to his chest and loosely wrapped his arms around him. Eiji pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw. Burying his face into Eiji's hair, Ash threaded his fingers through the silky ebony and twirled a strand around his finger.</p>
<p><br/>
"Goodnight, bunbun."</p>
<p><br/>
"Goodnight, my baby lynx. See you in the morning, love."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash snorted slightly. "You're so soft."</p>
<p><br/>
"Hmm? Are you talking physically or are you saying I'm a sap?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Both."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji chuckled and kissed him everywhere he could reach. He made sure to leave a couple more little smooches on any exposed skin that was available. Ash massaged his scalp.<br/>
"Eiji?"</p>
<p><br/>
"Yeah?"</p>
<p><br/>
"I love you."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji beamed. Although his face wasn't visible, Ash still felt it. "I know, Aslan. I love you just as much, if not more."</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Four days. It had taken him four days. And it was only about halfway done.</p>
<p><br/>
He was only able to work on it for about 4-5 hours a day, but his constant fretting and nitpicking really set him back. The more he thought about the time it was taking, the more he stressed. And this was all for something that might not even come out right!</p>
<p><br/>
He groaned and threw his head back in frustration. Maybe a scarf would be easier. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fuck it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, he set his carcass of a sweater aside and started a new project.</p>
<p><br/>
He decided to make Eiji a red scarf. There were a few hiccups, same as before, but it went faster and seemed easier—definitely more beginner-friendly. Knitting still wasn't something he was accustomed to, but the simple design took a lot of stress off. It took him about a week to finish. He was surprised to see that it came out fine and actually looked like a scarf. Fueled by hubris and joy, he picked Buddy up and spun him around. Buddy held his tongue out happily and swished his tail like the good boy he was. </p>
<p><br/>
Ash pressed a big kiss to the dog's nose. He pranced to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate for when Eiji came home. He put a lot of effort into it, despite how simple of a task it is, because he loves his Eiji and likes spoiling him any way he can. He poured in the milk slowly and stirred it a little at a time for a smoother, creamier consistency. He put some tiny marshmallows in along with a jumbo one. He topped it off with a good amount of whipped cream—not too much, not too little—, sprinkled a bit of cinnamon on top, and included a little candy cane.</p>
<p><br/>
Just as he finished, he heard Eiji coming in. As soon as the door was open, he was running towards it and jumping in Eiji's arms. Eiji yelped in surprise as he caught him and stumbled back, his back hitting the door. Ash giggled, actually <em>giggled</em>, and brushed his nose against Eiji's. Before Eiji could even react, Ash was sliding down from his arms and then picking him up instead. Eiji, again, yelped and clung to Ash's shoulders. Ash spun him around a few times. After a second of recovering from his initial confusion, Eiji began laughing and wrapped his arms around his neck. As they came to a stop, Ash kissed him. He could feel his smile against his lips and hear his soft voice.</p>
<p><br/>
When their lips broke apart, Eiji curiously searched Ash's face, a smile still etched onto his lips. "You seem really happy today," he grinned.</p>
<p><br/>
"Of course—I'm happy to see you. I missed you. I made you some hot chocolate, too. C'mon, let's hurry before it gets cold."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash carried a chortling Eiji into the kitchen and sat him down on the counter, right beside his mug. As Eiji wrapped his legs around his waist and pulled him close, Ash handed him his hot chocolate, Eiji's eyes lighting up in excitement.</p>
<p><br/>
"Ashie, sweetie, it looks so good! Mh, thank you."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash watched eagerly as he took a sip. "How is it? Too much, too little? Good?"</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji grinned, whipped cream covering his upper lip like a mustache and a dot of</p>
<p>it on his nose. "It's sooo good. Ah, I really needed this."</p>
<p><br/>
Ash smiled and looked down at Eiji's lips. He grabbed his chin and looked back to his warm eyes, already leaning in. He kissed him gently, tenderly. No matter how many years had passed or how many times he had kissed those sweet, perfect lips, it still felt like the first. He never forgot the feeling of their first kiss, nor the ones after, and he never would.</p>
<p><br/>
His hands soon moved to Eiji's hips, where he grabbed him and pulled him closer, eliminating the small space between them. He felt one of Eiji's hands rest at his side. God, he loved this man. He hummed into the kiss before pulling away completely. He chuckled at Eiji's white mustache, realizing some probably got on his own lips, and used his thumb to wipe it from Eiji's mouth. The little dot on his nose was still there, so Ash leaned in and licked it off, causing Eiji to scrunch his nose and whine in response.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>That night, cuddling with Buddy and Eiji in bed, Ash thought about the abandoned sweater. Maybe... maybe he could try again. He wasn't sure if he wanted to start over or just continue from what he had, but there were two weeks before Christmas, and even if it did come out horribly, he still had the scarf to give. It wouldn't hurt to try.</p>
<p><br/>
The next morning, he picked up where he left off. Something about completing the scarf gave him a boost in confidence, and the extra practice helped him to not get as confused. He thought he understood it a little better this time around. As he closely followed tutorials and instructions, it seemed to go a little faster. Before he knew it, he had finished. He now had a red scarf and a beige sweater to give Eiji on Christmas, and he was so excited.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The 25th couldn't come fast enough. He was practically buzzing with excitement when it was finally time. He somehow forced himself up before Eiji and scurried into the kitchen to make them both some hot chocolate. Ash was wearing a big sweater that Eiji had gotten him for his birthday a few years back. Because Eiji wore it sometimes, it still smelled a little like him. Ash wanted to shove his face in it and inhale like he had gone years without breathing, but why do that when he has the real thing in the next room?<br/>
Ash ran to the bedroom and jumped on the bed, landing on and efficiently squishing Eiji. He woke with an <em>oof!</em> and gave Ash a bewildered look.</p>
<p><br/>
After grabbing Eiji's glasses and putting them on him, Ash pulled him to the Christmas tree—which he had a painful time decorating, even with Eiji's help—and gave him his hot chocolate. They sat and enjoyed it together before doing anything.</p>
<p><br/>
After they were done, they started exchanging gifts. Ash saved his favorites for last.</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji was a thoughtful bastard who had gotten him many great gifts. Ash had put a lot of thought and care into all of his, but Eiji was <em>Eiji</em>, and no matter how hard you tried, no one was going to be more thoughtful or considerate than him. Despite Ash's feelings of insecurity when comparing the things he bought to Eiji's, Eiji was genuinely delighted. He had the cutest, happiest little expressions and always made sure to thank him. He would sometimes even give him a kiss on his cheek, making Ash melt.</p>
<p><br/>
Once they got down to the last gift, Ash handed it him, trying to feign indifference. Eiji opened the box they were in and let out a little gasp. He smiled widely and took them out to hold them up individually and hug them to his chest.</p>
<p><br/>
"Ooh, these are nice, Aslan. I like the colors too."</p>
<p><br/>
"Yeah? Do you really like them...? You can be honest."</p>
<p>Eiji shot him a look with a cute little frown as he held them tighter to his chest, almost protectively. "I am being honest. I'm going to wear them everywhere I go."</p>
<p><br/>
He couldn't fight the smile spreading on his lips or the warmth blooming in his heart.</p>
<p><br/>
As Eiji folded them back up, Ash started, "I made those, you know."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji froze.</p>
<p><br/>
"I knitted them both all by myself," he continued. "Harder than it might seem."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji instantly unfolded them at lightning speed and held them up to look at every single detail. "Ash," he whimpered.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash moved forward to hold him. "What is it?"</p>
<p><br/>
"I <em>love</em> them," he said, turning to him with a trembling bottom lip.</p>
<p><br/>
"Oh, baby," Ash whispered, running his thumb softly over his lip to stop the tremors.</p>
<p><br/>
"I love them so much, they're perfect."</p>
<p><br/>
"Thank fuck—I was really nervous that you'd hate them."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji swatted at him, incredulous. "How could I?! They're so precious, and you did such a good job on them. I'm really love them, thank you. Sorry for not doing anything like this for you... I feel bad for not doing anything special."</p>
<p><br/>
"Hush." Ash cupped his face. "You're the most thoughtful and kindest person I know—actually, <em>in existence,</em> I know it. You know I don't care about things like this, <em>all</em> I could ever want is you, and yet you still did amazingly. Like always. I did this because I wanted to do it for you. The results are far from perfect, but I'm so glad you like them. You have nothing to feel bad for, love. You're perfect. I love you."</p>
<p><br/>
Eiji tackled Ash to the floor, hand cradling the back of his head so he wouldn't get hurt. He looked down at him, noses touching, with his angelic grin. Ash's arms wrapped around his neck, loose but holding him close. Eiji started showering his face everywhere with little pecks. Ash accepted them with a laugh and a smile so wide that it hurt. Eiji's kisses got lighter and softer, making Ash squirm from the slight tickling sensation. He gave him one last big kiss to his cheek before trying to pull back but being stopped by Ash suddenly catching his bottom lip and nibbling on it.</p>
<p><br/>
Ash pulled away, bringing one hand to the side of Eiji's face. He pushed a few strands behind his ear, his hand lingering there. "Merry Christmas, Eiji."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The beginning was awkward and the end was a little rushed, but I hope you like it, Maira!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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